Let's talk about God for a minute.
God...you know, the Supreme Being, All Powerful, the alleged "intelligence" behind Intelligent Design...man of a thousand faces...Yahweh, Vishnu, Allah, Jehova, Odin, Dagda. The Qur'an speaks of the 99 names of God, so if the Guy (or Gal) you know isn't the same one the person next to you knows, don't feel too put out.
I'm just talking generally here.
And, no, I am not about to go into a George Carlin rant...
OK, maybe just a little;

(George Carlin on God)"...here's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you.
He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!"

But that's how Carlin sees things from his Northeast Irish-American-years-of-Catholic-school, type viewpoint.
Not that you would ever hear anything like that from me, no sir!
What I AM ticked off about is the way people insist on putting God on the spot all the time by drafting him or her for their own purposes.
The College Bowl Season ended last night, with God-fearing TEXAS defeating that Left Coast University of Southern California. I will bet you over half of the players on the Texas team figured God helped them to win the game. Does anybody on USC think God hates them?
Apparently God made it close enough to cover the spread.
There were 28 Bowl Games in the past month...and it seems God hates 14 college football teams, including Florida State (one thing the Big "G" and I have in common), Miami and (shudder) Notre Dame.
I mean, if God really cared about football, how could Notre Dame EVER lose? Ok, perhaps to BYU, SMU or Texas Christian (although that might simply be his boy's favorite team).
Oh, and I don't believe God is a stereotypical ditzy blonde airhead either...But some people would have you think so;

GOD: "hmm...let's see...miners in West Virginia...hmm, ok, make a miracle...let 'em live...no, WAIT, let 'em DIE...yeah, that's it...GEEZ, this is SO confusing!"

I'm sorry, but, do you find that offensive?
What I found offensive was the cries of "Praise God!" coming from the locals gathered around the Sago Mine when they heard the news that later proved to be a lie.
While I feel for those people, I have always been bothered by that phrase.
My dog needs praise from me...your kids need praise from you.
God doesn't need praise from either of us.
As a final comment, consider all those who have thought God was on their side. It didn't start with George Bush or College football.
It didn't even start with Nazi Germany, although it is an historic fact that the standard issue belt buckle for every Nazi soldier in World War II was circled by the phrase "Gott Mit Uns".
Translated, it means "God is with us".
The Nazis honestly thought God was on their side.
Some might say they still do.

You know, it's really difficult to point out the absurdities of Central Florida if those same absurdities keep making national news.
Take the recent "Soccer & Swingers" incident as an example.
Over the New Years Weekend, the Orlando Crowne Plaza at the airport booked both a group of pre-teen soccer players from around the United States...and a "Swingers" convention of about 200.
By now you've heard the story, even Keith Olbermann named the hotel management one of the top three "worst people in the world" on his show.
What they didn't tell you is that this kind of thing happens all the time.
Hotel sales people are looking strictly at the money, and rarely do they talk among themselves.
They are very competitive.
Once a salesperson books a group for a certain time at a certain occupancy, other sales people have to work around that group.
The Crowne Plaza at the airport has 353 rooms on 10 floors. Let's say the Disney Soccer Showcase has booked 250 of those rooms. That leaves around 100 rooms over the busy New Years Eve weekend.
What's a poor hotel salesperson to do? Why, book a small group with the cash up front, that's what.
I really can't blame the hotel in this case, as stupidity happens. Still, I wonder who's been booked this coming weekend in the hotels along International Drive.
The mind boggles to think of the groups who might be staying with the Fellowship of Christian Cheerleaders, whose convention begins in Orlando on Friday.

The Holidays have always struck me as an odd time here in Central Florida.
Anyone who has lived in the area for a while, even if they are from more traditionally wintery climates, has long ago given up on the idea of a "White Christmas" among the palm trees.
Snow is out of the question, but it can still get pretty chilly.
I remember working one night on the Jungle Cruise at Disney World, when the temperature hit 28 degrees. I told my handful of passengers that "I'll be your Sherpa guide down the rivers of adventure.", but nobody got the joke.
This year, New Years Eve was slightly cooler than last year. I wore jeans instead of shorts as I stepped out my front door and into the neighborhood fireworks display. As smoke obscures the street lamp and the smell of chordite fills the air, suburban Altamonte Springs takes on the sounds of downtown Baghdad.
Fireworks are perfectly legal in Florida, provided you don't actually lite them.
According to Tom Gallagher, the state's Chief Financial Officer and Fire Marshall, "fireworks are illegal to use without a permit...if it launches or explodes, it is off limits".
On the other hand, you can BUY all the fireworks you want in Metro-Orlando; you just have to sign a standard waiver that states you are purchasing them for "agricultural purposes",or that you work in a mine or for a railroad.
Oh, and you have to be 18.
In other words, you can buy 'em, just don't set 'em off...unless it's to scare birds...or trains, or something.
Somebody older has to buy the beer.
Now, at this point, some of you may be wondering what the big deal is about fireworks on New Years Eve.
Sure, we have fireworks on the Fourth of July, but New Years Eve is really the festival of the Big Bang around Central Florida.
Some say it has to do with traditions from Latin American cultures transported by recent immigrants. Others say it is based on an old Deep South tradition of firing guns into the air on Christmas and New Years Eve.
If you knew my neighborhood, you would know it can easily draw from both traditions.
As the sun sets, what sounds like brief but violent fire-fights errupt, with the sound coming from every direction. They seem to stop as abruptly as they began. Then, for the next few hours, things are relatively quiet...until around 11:45.
First, the impatient ones (or those with impatient kids) start the rocket bombs. This is a signal for my friend and I to pour the Champagne into our commerative 2006 wine glasses, and walk out the front door...we have put the DVD of "Robin Williams on Broadway" on pause.
Across the street, a neighbor has lit a bunch of ground hugging explosives and rockets that shoot 50 feet into the air simultaniously. Next door, a guy has decided to put his entire collection in one metal bucket, douse it with hairspray, and toss in a match...the result is magnificent, and goes on longer than you might think. In the next block over, someone is providing a professional display over his pool, while across state road 434 they appear to be aiming Roman Candles at the Hummer dealership.
Each display has three things in common; they are very expensive, very enjoyable and highly illegal.
Now, most any cop will tell you that laws are only as good as the enforcement that goes with them.
Apparently, when it comes to violations of the fireworks ordinances, the police seem to believe it is a matter for the local fire marshall. He, in turn, will likely say it is a matter for the local police. I see neither policemen or firemen on my street that night.
Fortunately, I see no parimedics either.
By about 12:15, with smoke hanging like thick fog around the house, the show is generally over. We hear what sounds like sporadic gunfire as we return to Robin Williams.
Nothing like entering 2006 laughing...since I have a feeling we may need all the laughter we can get in the year to come.

Over the holidays, alot of the Liberal Blogs I read have been involved in a sort of internet "chain letter" based on questions with four answers.
The way it works is that one blogger starts with the questionaire, fills in his or her answers, and then sends the challange to the next blogger on their list.
Ok, I can almost see the blank looks on your faces, so let me start.
Again, this is something I stole from the "Big Boy Blogs", but I thought we could have some fun with it on Blogstream...and you don't have to be a liberal to play along;
just put in the top four items under each category...use the first things that pop into your head. (in other words, don't over-think this too much!)
THE GANG OF FOUR (as pertaining to Gobshite)

List FOUR jobs you've had in your life----
Newspaper reporter, radio announcer, Jungle Cruise Captain, Civil Servant

FOUR movies you could watch over and over----
Blazing Saddles, Monty Python & The Holy Grail, Casablanca, Michael Collins

FOUR places you have lived------
Ukiah, California...Milford, Massachusetts...Columbus, Indiana...Liberty, New York

FOUR TV shows you love to watch------
House...Countdown with Keith Olberman...Jeopardy...anything with "Blackadder" in the title

FOUR places you've been on vacation----
Los Angeles, The Cayman Islands, Chicago, a cabin in rural Vermont

FOUR Web Sites you visit daily----
TBogg, Democratic Underground, Bats Left, Throws Right and (OK, all together, now) BLOGSTREAM

FOUR of your favorite foods------
Sushi, barbecue ribs, good pizza (from a family owned place and not a national chain), cold shrimp

FOUR places you'd rather be-----
Boston, San Francisco, Dublin, Philadelphia (no thanks to W.C. Fields)

FOUR albums/CD's you can't live without-----
Box sets by Cat Stevens and the Moody Blues, "It's Too Late To Stop Now" by Van Morrison, "Sandinista!" by the Clash

Ok, there's my gang of four...
I now challenge the man behind "Touchy Subjects"...
TAG, you're IT, Mokie Joe!

(By the way, we don't have to stand in line on this one. If you can put together your own "Gang of Four" send me a comment or a PM and I will be happy to link to your site in a future post. Naturally, if you do play the game, be sure to link to me. Thanks...G.)

Well, it appears Mokie Joe is up after midnight, and has offered his lists and passed the game to "She's Come Undone"! Give it a shot, Damenrouge!

A good friend is trying to teach me to sing.
I worked in radio for a number of years, before Clear Channel and its satellites pretty much destroyed local programming, and I was always the one who stood back and played the songs of others. I had a decent enough speaking voice, but never thought it was "musical" enough to display before other sentient beings.
I have acted on stage in New York, Orlando and Indiana (each a theatre Mecca, they tell me), so have no fear of being in front of an audience.
Yet, the thought of actually singing before that same audience was just short of terrifying.
A dubious talent for mimicry was how I got started.
Anyone who knows me will attest to my ability to imitate any number of famous people. To sing, I started taking the speaking voices of others, and tried turning them into their singing voices.
John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen, Ian Anderson and Gordon Lightfoot all became part of my stable of "singing" voices that I am still using to try and find my own voice.
I am generally a tenor, but I began fooling around with the baritone voice of folksinger Theodore Bikel. The man has been performing for over 50 years, and I think I may have been drawn to him because of his long history of imitating those around him.
That, and the fact that I find I can do a reasonable imitation of him.
An Austrian Jew, who fled the Nazis in the 1930's, Bikel has done songs in English, French, Russian (all languages he speaks) and in Irish and Scottish dialects.
Lately, he has been concentrating on his own heritage, and performing folk songs in Hebrew and Yiddish.
Which is all the more surprising, when my voice teacher told me he has updated a traditional American folk song, called Mighty Day, a song about a hurricane and flood which destroyed Galveston, Texas in 1900. Bikel has updated it to comment on Hurricane Katrina.
~~~~~~~~~
"I remember one September,
When storm winds swept the town;
The high tide from the ocean, Lord,
Put water all around.

Chorus:
Wasn't that a mighty day,
A mighty day
A mighty day, Great God, that morning
When the storm winds swept the town!

There was a sea-wall there in New Orleans
To keep the waters down,
But the high tide from the ocean, Lord,
Put water in the town.

Chorus

The mayor warned the people,
"You'd better leave this place!"
But thousands could not leave their homes
Till death was in their face.

The cars they were all loaded
The rich were leaving town
But the poor were left for the ocean’s wrath
And the ocean took them down,

Chorus

The waters, like some river,
Came rushing to and fro;
I saw my father drowning, God,
And I watched my mother go!

Dear Lord, the poor kept prayin’
Please save us from this fate
When will the rescue come for us
But the rescue came too late.

Chorus

Now, the leaders of our nation
They tell us all is well
But we know that there’s a special place
Reserved for them in hell.

They’ll twist and turn forever
In the blinding wind and rain
And they’ll only stop for a photo op
When they hear this sad refrain:

Wasn't that a mighty day,
A mighty day
A mighty day, Great God, that morning
When the storm winds swept the town! "
~~~~~~~~~~
If you want to know how it sounds, you can go to the web site to play it. You will need a Quicktime player.
The "folk tradition" has always been to take older songs and update them to the present time. Bob Dylan, if you catch him in a moment of honesty, will tell you he took old Irish melodies and re-worked the words to make some of the songs he's known for today.
Very soon, my teacher and I will sing the new "Mighty Day" before an audience.
I'll let you know how it turns out.