When it first happened, I thought the dishwasher was leaking.
There was standing water in the kitchen, but also in two of the bedrooms. Since I don't keep the dishwasher in either bedroom, I figured there was something else happening.
I gots me one of them fancy college degrees, remember.
Apparently homebuilders in Central Florida in 1960 thought burying water lines in the concrete foundation was just the ticket! The cement kept the water from over-heating and nothing could possibly go wrong for 40 years or more.
It was in year 47 that the cast iron pipes finally crumbled away.
Since it's unseemly to go around kicking the arses of homebuilders in their 70's, I called a plumber. He knew just what to do, and nearly chuckled as he used the phrase "re-plumb".
My homeowners insurance would not cover the water line repair, I think they called it an act of God or something, and I thought that was it.
You gotta have water, so there goes the trip to Ireland.
It was my mother who came up with the idea that, if they wouldn't pay for the repairs, perhaps they might pay to repair the damage.
She was right.
An insurance adjuster holding a clipboard came by and began pointing out damage I didn't realize was there. Sure, the cabinets under the sink had to be replaced, but the ones opposite? The ones hanging at eye level?
"Oh, yeah," he said, "no way you could match 'em...they all gotta go."
Also on the hit list was bedroom carpet, hall carpet and a bedroom wall.
Total cost, around $10,000 and the insurance company wrote me a check.
So far, so good...until the contractor arrived on Valentine's Day.
He had basically two demands;
Remove all breakables (china, glassware, booze bottles-both empty and full)and disassemble and remove all computer equipment. Put it all in the living room, as no work was going to be happening there. (Remember, this was a leak...not a Tsunami.)
"How long will I be without my computer?", I asked.
"My guys will be in on Monday...shouldn't take more than a couple of weeks, once the cabinets are built", he said.
Without going into all the gory details, suffice it to say that I waited until the job was completed before writing him that big check.
I wrote the check on May 18th.
Three months, watching TV through a collection of glassware and Noritake china. Three months sleeping on a couch. On the other hand, it was also three months re-discovering the pleasures of actual newspapers and books.
So where have I been?
For all intents and purposes, I've been right here...yet, I feel as though I've been on a desert island. (An analogy I used to like, before the sound of Sting singing "Message in a Bottle" kept intruding on my thoughts.)
At work, I had the chance to read some blog stream posts...but they frown on State employees writing stuff on State computers that isn't work related.
So please consider this as the latest excuse for my dropping off the face of the blogosphere.
That, and the doctor's visit back in March.

It started as a routine physical...but somewhere between the blood pressure pump and the stethoscope, the nurse suggested I undergo an EKG right there in the office.
Trust me...this is never a good thing.